Written By Reina Beach | Co-Founder of Hello Brave
As a parent, there are few moments more challenging than sitting down with your young child to discuss a major medical diagnosis. It's a conversation that combines love, concern, and the need for clarity in a way that few other discussions do. I found myself facing this daunting challenge when my son was diagnosed with lymphoma at just 8 years old.
I remember struggling to find the right words as I supported my son through his diagnosis and treatment. When Elliott’s treatment plan required that he have doses of intrathecal chemotherapy (chemo injected into the spinal fluid), I didn’t know how to prepare him for this. The procedure terrified me and was hard to talk about, so I glossed over what would happen while he was under anesthesia and only talked about how quickly it would be over. It felt kind at the time, but ultimately by not giving him honest and clear information, he went into the procedure with unmanageable anxiety and came out of it confused and afraid, not knowing what happened to him. This created a lasting medical trauma and has required a lot of time and effort for him to regain trust in medical professionals and me.
My experience, while excruciatingly painful, has led me to advocate for other mothers and families facing similar challenges by offering reflective advice on communication and support. Through my journey and the shared experiences of other mothers and caretakers, I have learned valuable tips that can help other parents navigate this difficult yet crucial conversation.
Prepare Yourself First Before talking to your child, make sure you understand the diagnosis yourself. Speak with your healthcare provider to get a clear understanding of what the diagnosis means, what the treatment options are, and what the future might look like. This preparation helps you stay calm and provide accurate information to your child.
Use Simple, Honest, and Clear Language Explain the diagnosis using age-appropriate language. Be honest, adjusting details based on what your child can comprehend. Strike a balance in sharing information by gradually providing honest details, considering your child's emotional capacity.
Encourage Questions Encourage your child to ask questions and reassure them that no question is too difficult. Offer your best efforts to answer and support them. Be honest if you don’t know the answer to something. Express your willingness to find out and be sure to bring it up again when you have more information or a suitable answer.
Offer Emotional Support Remind your child that you are there for them. Encourage them to share fears or worries, assuring them of your judgment-free listening. Provide comfort through physical touch, helping them feel safe and calmer during difficult experiences. Celebrate and praise your child’s achievements, big and small, recognizing their bravery and resilience.
Seek Professional Support and Resources Don’t hesitate to seek help from a child psychologist, counselor, or child life specialist who specializes in working with children facing medical challenges. Professional support can provide additional strategies and a safe space for your child to express their emotions. Additionally, there are books and resources designed to help explain medical conditions to children. Look for materials that are age-appropriate and can visually illustrate what you are explaining. Hello Brave currently offers kid-friendly books on lymphoma and leukemia.
Talking to a young child about a major medical diagnosis is undoubtedly one of the most difficult tasks a parent can face. However, with honesty, simplicity, and a lot of love, you can help your child navigate this challenging time with courage and understanding. Remember, you are your child’s best advocate and source of comfort—your strength and compassion will guide them through this journey. If you’d like to hear more about my story, you can listen to me share my experience on an episode of the Child Life On Call podcast linked here.
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